I’m sorry everyone, but I have a lot on my mind and pretty much no one in my life who isn’t bias in some sort of level about the situation, so here is my venting. I posted the other day about my ex wanting to get back together and I just have no idea what to do. Part of me, because I do care about him and I’m a very forgiving person, says that I should give him another chance and just see how things go. Not necessarily say yes lets do this, but say “I’m not ruling out the possibility.”
But I keep going back and forth on it.
Even the other night we were talking and got into an argument about something he neglected to tell me about. Since we started talking again we have been completely honest about things…or so I thought. I’m not incredibly proud of this but I have been with a few guys since him and when he asked I was honest. He has been with a few people too, and then the other night he decided to tell me that he was also kind of seeing one of them. Like went and visited her and everything. I mean yeah he was honest but he was only honest when he felt comfortable doing it. When he felt the time was right, instead of just manning up and telling the truth when I did, about what I’ve done. It just really frustrated me and showed me that he still only thinking about himself. He felt that he could tell the truth with less consequence at that moment and that doesn’t sit right with me. I just feel like although it could work between us, it will be a long uphill battle of constant struggles and I don’t know it is worth it. It’s crazy for me to even admit that because I would have done absolutely anything before to keep him but now I just don’t know. I’m only 23 years old, being with someone shouldn’t be a constant battle. I do love him and always will, but idk. I guess we will see what happens. I will go to the USMC ball and see how things go, but I can’t make any promises to him.
Also, my best friend lives in Connecticut and she has been trying to get me to move there for years and pursue my photography career there since it’s so close to New York City. I have my own photography business and I would love to relocate it to New York City, but until now, because I was with my ex, I didn’t push it that way because I didn’t want to move father from him then I already was, but that’s not an excuse now. So do I move and pursue my career in one of the best places in the world, or do I pursue love.
It might be my only chance for both of these things….